For all those who truly want answers and who truly care about the questions; for all those who have embarked upon quests for truth with sincerity of heart, longing of soul, and openness of mind, this blog is for you.
When I reflect back on the last 8 months, my quest to find My Way Up, I can pin-point specific “spots in time” when I’ve experienced change, a shift. Some were small yet significant, and some were seismic game-changing epoch-defining shifts that altered my perception of the world around me, as well as my perception of Self, from where I could operate from a point of ignorance no longer.
I figure I’m currently operating on Jessington software version 36.5.0, and version 36.5.1 is ready to download. Each version has featured its own bug fixes, removing redundant features and replacing them with upgrades.
Jessington Version 36.5.1:
– shadow work: embracing my darker, denser side in the paradigm of duality, true balance.
– discernment: listening to my highest thought: joy; listening to my clearest word: truth; listening to my grandest feeling: love; listening to my greatest messenger: experience.
– exploration: asking my higher-self (from my heart) “what experience do I need to have?” We are all led to the truth for which we are ready by being open to everything, by being willing to hear, and remain open to the communication even when it seems scary, or crazy, or downright wrong.
“Feeling is the language of the soul. If you want to know what’s true for you about something, look how you’re feeling about it. Feelings are sometimes difficult to discover – and often even more difficult to acknowledge. Yet hidden in your deepest feelings is your highest truth. The trick is to get to those feelings.”
Conversations with God, Neale Donald Walsch
Denser feelings, such as anger, depression, frustration, are still a part of us (I’m working on this) but they can get in the way of our joy, our happiness, our truth. Here’s some magic: you can choose your response, truly:
Inquire within, rather than without, asking: “what part of my Self do I wish to experience now in the face of this calamity? What aspect of being do I choose to call forth?” For all life exists as a tool of your own creation, and all of its events merely present themselves as opportunities for you decide, and be, Who You Are.
Conversations with God, Neale Donald Walsch
By consciously letting go of redundant features, such as energies, emotions, protocols or belief systems that no longer serve you, you inherently make space to welcome in new ones that better express and embrace your Essence-Self.
In time, and by working on myself a lot over the last 200+ days, I’ve come to realise that so many of the issues, or “miseries”, that I’ve had in my past were a result of decisions I made without even realising it – decisions like carrying around other people’s shit, accepting gifts of negativity, or my ego getting in my own way by trying (and failing) to impress people because of a need to be liked, brought on by childhood insecurities.
Insecurity, anger, frustration, whatever, these are the things that hold us all back; they feed our negative thought patterns, our protocols. They mean we keep repeating the same bullshit stories we tell ourselves over and over, like “I’m not good enough” or “if only that person would change a little, then my life would be sooo much better”.
I’ve come to realise that the only person we can truly change is Us.
Taking that time to work on myself, to really inquire within, to put my ego to one side and hold space for myself means I’m now better able to choose to lead a life that isn’t dictated by my past as much anymore. I choose to live a proactive life, free and liberated. It is such a joy not to be kept awake at night with those kinds of feelings anymore, and instead to replace them with feelings of liberation.
Now, I have the faculty to Pause. I can choose not to get angry, I can choose not to accept gifts of negativity or frustration from others. I choose to be me, to try and embrace both the light and dark aspects of me as a whole unconditionally, freeing myself from the old stories I’ve been told, and to walk in the valley of my own shadow.
All to often we pick up and carry so much of other people’s shit around, when we have so much of our own shit to deal with in the first place. If only we put as much energy into outselves as we do other people.
Por ejemplo: There were these two monks, one Old, one Young, walking in the forest. They came to a river, and saw a young woman struggling to cross it.
Now, they’ve both sworn an sacred oath never to touch a woman, but after a brief pause and without hesitation the Older monk picked up the woman and carried her across the river, setting her down on the other side, and without a word they continued walking. The Young monk was beside himself – he kept thinking to himself how could the Old monk have broken his vows?!
He kept quiet until he could no longer, and confronted the Older monk “How could you pick her up? We both swore a sacred oath never to touch a woman?!”.
The Old monk replied “Brother, I set her down on the other side of the river, why are you still carrying her?”.
Along this theme, and to help keep me a shit-free zone, I constantly refer to some powerful and beautifully simple principles, or keys:
1. The 4 Agreements: thank you Anna Cooper, I FINALLY understand them all:
2. Forgiveness: to liberate my soul
3. Gratitude: to open my heart
4. Anicca: The law of nature/impermanence. Everything changes, goes in cycles, so just Let Goooooo of any cravings or aversions: the key here is to accept everything just as it, not as you would like it to be. For example, the Sun will always rise and it will always set: we have no control over that, so just accept it just as it is, and most importantly do that with equanimity: i.e. no labelling it Good or Bad.
5. Pause: Choose your response proactively in every situation, not reactively. Take control. Take a conscious breath. Pause, and the solution will present itself. Be 100% Present – hold space, be in the moment, and your true Essence-Self will be revealed.
Seems relevant at this point to also introduce the Law of attraction/repulsion, as summarised in the video below, which is well worth a watch:
God bless every child travelling the road home 🕉