Checking for update

For all those who truly want answers and who truly care about the questions;  for all those who have embarked upon quests for truth with sincerity of heart, longing of soul, and openness of mind, this blog is for you.  

When I reflect back on the last 8 months, my quest to find My Way Up, I can pin-point specific “spots in time” when I’ve experienced change, a shift.  Some were small yet significant, and some were seismic game-changing epoch-defining shifts that altered my perception of the world around me, as well as my perception of Self, from where I could operate from a point of ignorance no longer.

I figure I’m currently operating on Jessington software version 36.5.0, and version 36.5.1 is ready to download.  Each version has featured its own bug fixes, removing redundant features and replacing them with upgrades.  

Jessington Version 36.5.1:

– shadow work:  embracing my darker, denser side in the paradigm of duality, true balance. 

– discernment:  listening to my highest thought: joy;  listening to my clearest word: truth;  listening to my grandest feeling: love;  listening to my greatest messenger: experience. 

– exploration:  asking my higher-self (from my heart) “what experience do I need to have?”  We are all led to the truth for which we are ready by being open to everything, by being willing to hear, and remain open to the communication even when it seems scary, or crazy, or downright wrong. 

“Feeling is the language of the soul.  If you want to know what’s true for you about something, look how you’re feeling about it.  Feelings are sometimes difficult to discover – and often even more difficult to acknowledge.  Yet hidden in your deepest feelings is your highest truth.  The trick is to get to those feelings.”

Conversations with God, Neale Donald Walsch

UPGRADE AVAILABLE:

Denser feelings, such as anger, depression, frustration, are still a part of us (I’m working on this) but they can get in the way of our joy, our happiness, our truth.  Here’s some magic:  you can choose your response, truly:

Inquire within, rather than without, asking: “what part of my Self do I wish to experience now in the face of this calamity?  What aspect of being do I choose to call forth?”  For all life exists as a tool of your own creation, and all of its events merely present themselves as opportunities for you decide, and be, Who You Are. 

Conversations with God, Neale Donald Walsch

By consciously letting go of redundant features, such as energies, emotions, protocols or belief systems that no longer serve you, you inherently make space to welcome in new ones that better express and embrace your Essence-Self.  

In time, and by working on myself a lot over the last 200+ days,  I’ve come to realise that so many of the issues, or “miseries”, that I’ve had in my past were a result of decisions I made without even realising it – decisions like carrying around other people’s shit, accepting gifts of negativity, or my ego getting in my own way by trying (and failing) to impress people because of a need to be liked, brought on by childhood insecurities. 

Insecurity, anger, frustration, whatever, these are the things that hold us all back; they feed our negative thought patterns, our protocols.  They mean we keep repeating the same bullshit stories we tell ourselves over and over, like “I’m not good enough” or “if only that person would change a little, then my life would be sooo much better”.  

I’ve come to realise that the only person we can truly change is Us. 

Taking that time to work on myself, to really inquire within, to put my ego to one side and hold space for myself means I’m now better able to choose to lead a life that isn’t dictated by my past as much anymore.  I choose to live a proactive life, free and liberated.  It is such a joy not to be kept awake at night with those kinds of feelings anymore, and instead to replace them with feelings of liberation.  

Now, I have the faculty to Pause.  I can choose not to get angry, I can choose not to accept gifts of negativity or frustration from others.  I choose to be me, to try and embrace both the light and dark aspects of me as a whole unconditionally,  freeing myself from the old stories I’ve been told, and to walk in the valley of my own shadow. 

All to often we pick up and carry so much of other people’s shit around, when we have so much of our own shit to deal with in the first place.  If only we put as much energy into outselves as we do other people. 

Por ejemplo:  There were these two monks, one Old, one Young, walking in the forest.  They came to a river, and saw a young woman struggling to cross it.  

Now, they’ve both sworn an sacred oath never to touch a woman, but after a brief pause and without hesitation the Older monk picked up the woman and carried her across the river, setting her down on the other side, and without a word they continued walking.  The Young monk was beside himself – he kept thinking to himself how could the Old monk have broken his vows?!  

He kept quiet until he could no longer, and confronted the Older monk “How could you pick her up?  We both swore a sacred oath never to touch a woman?!”.  

The Old monk replied “Brother, I set her down on the other side of the river, why are you still carrying her?”.  

Told. 

Along this theme, and to help keep me a shit-free zone, I constantly refer to some powerful and beautifully simple principles, or keys: 

1.  The 4 Agreements: thank you Anna Cooper, I FINALLY understand them all:

2.  Forgiveness:  to liberate my soul

3.  Gratitude:  to open my heart 

4.  Anicca: The law of nature/impermanence.  Everything changes, goes in cycles, so just Let Goooooo of any cravings or aversions:  the key here is to accept everything just as it, not as you would like it to be.   For example, the Sun will always rise and it will always set:  we have no control over that, so just accept it just as it is, and most importantly do that with equanimity: i.e. no labelling it Good or Bad.

5.  Pause:  Choose your response proactively in every situation, not reactively.  Take control.  Take a conscious breath.  Pause, and the solution will present itself.  Be 100% Present – hold space, be in the moment, and your true Essence-Self will be revealed.  

Seems relevant at this point to also introduce the Law of attraction/repulsion, as summarised in the video below, which is well worth a watch:

Bashar :: The Law of Attraction and Repulsion

God bless every child travelling the road home 🕉 

Be your own Alchemist

I recently expanded my knowledge of a technique called Prana Yama – the practice of mastering of our life force by controlling our breath.  When we learn to control our breath, and more importantly hold empty with control, we suspend our consciousness, taking us into realms we normally can’t access. We gain more ways to tangibly feel our consciousness kick and scream!

Prana Yama has the power to take us on a journey into our subconscious, and it’s magic for re-routing energy at a cellular level:  

It is the alchemy for connecting our conscious to our subconscious.

Prana is the Sanskrit word for Energy, life force, and it comes from everything: what you eat, where you go (nature), essential oils, spiritual places, all these things hold a charge. 

Here’s some science:  Free radicals & pollutants can steal our energy.  Prana can fill those gaps.  Prana is a negative ion on the O2 molecule, an extra electrical charge, so when it comes into contact with a free radical it balances the charge and cancels it out.  It’s also been proven that disease cannot survive in a highly oxygenated environment.  

The complete yogic breath is key to this practice, and here’s how you do it.  And as promised, there’s also three techniques at the bottom for you to try.  It’s a lot of words, but I promise it’s worth it. 

—–

BASIC BREATH TRAINING, courtesy of Jenika Bronson

The system of complete yogic breathing is key to obtaining the multifold benefits of a yoga practice.  Working with simple breathing exercises helps oxygenate the body, brings energy to all the muscles, organs and glands, revitalizes and relaxes the mind and the entire nervous system.  

Taking time every day to practice these exercises in a clean and quiet environment will help bring about quick and noticeable improvements in all areas of the physical body and have a calming effect on the mind. 

Some key points before beginning the breathing practices: 

*The breathing in yoga is done in and out through the NOSE.  This allows for oxygen and energy to circulate to the brain and nervous system and not just to the lungs.  It is very healing and awakening and begins a biofeedback process between the body and the environment outside. 

*If you are a smoker, please refrain from holding your breath as this will push all the toxins from the lungs directly into the bloodstream.  Instead, keep up with deep breathing and cleansing breaths (Inhaling through the nose and exhaling forcefully through the mouth) to help loosen up the lining of the lungs and begin a cleansing process. 

*Always practice these breathing exercises in a well-oxygenated environment free from heavy scents, pollution, or dirt/dust/mold. 

Part I ABDOMINAL BREATHING – “The Buddha Belly”: 30% of capacity

Energetically, this works with the 1st (root) and 2nd (sacral) chakras  

The first step of yogic breathing is working with the abdominal breath.  This breath helps bring energy and oxygen to the lowest lobes of the lungs and stimulates all the lower abdominal organs and glands.  This breath is excellent to practice if you are suffering from abdominal tension, constipation, liver, kidney, spleen, or pancreatic problem.  Also, practicing this breath on a daily basis will act as a preventative for these same issues. 

Step 1: 

Find a comfortable sitting position (cross-legged, sitting on your heels, or simply with your legs stretched out in front of you).  If all of these positions are too uncomfortable, this breath can be practiced standing up.  However, for best results a sitting position is recommended. 

Step 2: 

Bring your right hand to your abdomen. As you inhale, see if you can direct the air into your abdominal area as though there were a balloon inflating in your stomach.  Feel your abdomen pressing against your hand.  As you exhale, draw your abdomen back toward your spine.  Inhale, belly expands, Exhale, belly draws in toward spine.  Repeat for 5-10 deep breaths. 

Part II MID-CHEST BREATHING – 60% of capacity 

Energetically, this works with the 3rd (solar plexus) and 4th (heart) chakras 

This breath is also known as the “bellows breath” and works to laterally expand the ribcage energizing the heart, lungs, and upper abdomen.  It is the section of the breath that tends to be the most locked-up and might take a bit of patient effort to get a sense of the movement in the beginning.  Working with this section of the breath is excellent for smokers, people suffering from asthma and other respiratory problems, high-cholesterol, clogged arteries and to prevent and alleviate heart conditions. 

Step 1: 

Find a comfortable sitting position. To get a sense of this breath, place one hand on either side of the ribcage just below the chest. As you inhale, feel the ribs expand out to the side like an accordion. As you exhale, feel the ribs squeeze back into center. 

Step 2: 

Once you feel connected to the lateral motion, apply gentle pressure to your ribs as you exhale to get a sense of all the air being squeezed out of the lungs.  Repeat this breath 5-10 times. 

   

Part III UPPER-CHEST BREATHING – 10% capacity 

Energetically, this works with the 5th (throat) chakra 

This section of the breath tends to be the most natural for people and consists in the gentle rise and fall of the upper chest.  This breath brings air to the uppermost part of the lungs and sends energy to the thyroid gland, the heart, lymphatic system and into the head and brain.  Excellent for relaxation and stress-relief. 

Step 1: 

Bring right hand to collarbones. Inhale, feel upper chest rise (can lift shoulders as well), exhale, allow shoulders and chest to relax.  Repeat for 5 -10 breaths. 

Step 2: 

Apply gentle pressure to upper chest to get sense of resistance as the air moves into the upper lungs.  Repeat for 5-10 breaths. 

THE COMPLETE YOGIC BREATH 

The complete yogic breath is key to the yoga practice and consists in stringing together the 3 sections of the breath we have just learned.  Remember to breathe in and out through the nose.  With the inhale, we begin by bringing air to our abdominal area, moving it up to the mid-chest and then all the way into the upper lungs.  
As we exhale, we draw in the abdomen first, then the mid-chest and then the upper-chest.  This creates a wave-like motion with the breath and ensures that air gets into all the lung cavities and also that it gets expelled fully.  If this breath feels a bit strange at first, be patient and know that with a bit of practice it will become quite natural.  

Inhale: Belly, Mid, Upper. Exhale: Belly, Mid, Upper. Repeat 5-10 times. 

Start your day with 7 Buddha, 7 Mid, 7 Upper and 7 full yogic breaths. 

CLEANSING BREATH 

The cleansing breath is a technique to be used as a way to quickly get CO2 out of the body, and is quite purifying physically and psychologically.  If you have been doing vigorous exercise or simply feel a bit winded, this technique will help bring your respiration to a normal rate and allow your cells to re-oygenate.  This breath is also excellent to practice daily for people suffering from asthma or other respiratory problems as it helps keep the airways clear. Again, practice this breath in a clean environment. 

Step 1:  Take a full inhale into all 3 parts of the lungs. 

Step 2:  Blast the air out through the mouth, curling the head and shoulders down and feeling the diaphragm contract pushing all the air out of the lungs. 

Step 3:  Repeat 3-6 times and then return to the complete yogic breath for 5-10 deep breaths. 

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SELF-PRACTICE BREATHING TECHNIQUES

Imagine Prana Yama to be like a combination lock – when you punch in the right numbers, doors will open.  

By practicing measured breathing techniques we gain conscious control over something that’s usually done unconsciously.

Our breath really connects with our emotional states, so here are some combinations for you to try: 

1. SAVATRI

This is great for anxiety, or when there’s too much energy that doesn’t know how to be… 

Using your full yogic breath, you can calm your nervous system within a minute.  Best done lying down, with your head to the North. 

Rhythm: 

• Inhale for a count of 8*
• Hold for a count of 4*
• Exhale belly first for a count of 8
• Hold empty for a count of 4

*always a ratio of 2:1

Duration: 5-10 minutes, or as needed. Best before bed. 

2. MEDITATION & ESOTERIC TECHNIQUES

Plugs you in on a mental level and great for concentration.  This rhythm helps to run a current through your chakras, and is perfect for 3rd eye meditations.  Can be done sitting, but best done lying down during deep relaxation meditation. 

Rhythm:

• Inhale for a count of 7
• Hold for a count of 3
• Exhale for a count of 7

Lying down, focus on your third eye and increase the rhythm to 9, holding for 3, exhaling for 9 for a few breaths.  Then increase again to 11, 3, 11, and finally  to 13, 3, 13.  After a few breaths, come back down to 11, 3, 11, then 9, 3, 9, then 7, 3, 7, and finally return to your normal rhythm, continuing to focus on your 3rd eye. 

Duration: 5-10 minutes, as you like.

You don’t need to do 7/3/7 (or full yogic breaths) during normal meditation practice, but you can use 7/3/7 to plug you back in if you become distracted. 

3. NASARGA BASTRIKA or FIRE BREATHING

Great for self-confidence, firing ourselves up, breaking bad habits.  It works with your solar plexus, your sun centre, and taps into your will power.  It creates a lot of energy, and it’s best to plant a happy seed whilst doing it.  It’s excellent for breaking any heavier denser self-pity feelings.  It also flushes out your lungs really well. 

NB people with high blood pressure or pregnant women should take care with this! 

Rhythm: 

• Hands to mid-chest 
• 40* x sped up mid-chest breaths (with life) with a forced out-breath
• 4 full yogic breaths
• Hold on the last breath (to add voltage and pressure)
• Slowly release 

*this can be done 40 times, 54 or ultimately 108. 

Duration: once is enough! 

Recommendation: start your day with this: FULL YOURSELF UP WITH PRANA such that you can meditate and just observe your breath full of Prana/energy. 
Just breathe, and enjoy! 

7-Bullet Sunday: day 234

What’s it been like being me the last 7 days?

1.  Becoming a Moonie graduate, bursting out my moon bubble and becoming a San Marcos Lake Atitlan local, for two weeks at least.  

In his 1934 travel book “Beyond the Mexique Bay”, Aldous Huxley compared Guatemala’s Lake Atitlan to Italy’s Lake Como.  The Italian body of water, he wrote, “touches the limit of the permissibly picturesque.” Atitlan, however, “is Como with the additional embellishment of several immense volcanoes. 

It is really too much of a good thing.” 

Lake Atitlan is indeed breathtaking, but nowadays it is leaving many visitors gasping for breath.  A thick brown sludge tarnishes its once blue waters – the result of decades of ecological imbalance, brought on by economic and demographic pressures. 

The unsightly and smelly layer, more than 100 feet deep in some areas, is chasing tourists away from Mayan towns in the area and posing huge cleanup expenses to a government already strapped for cash.  

Worse, the results of a University of California analysis found that the bacteria is toxic.  Scientists are urging residents to avoid cooking with, bathing in or drinking the water.    

Over here in San Marcos, thankfully the Lake’s not quite as unsightly as it can be in the main towns of Panajachel and San Pedro, so a dip in the Lake every day is still an enticing activity.  However, it seems to be taking a toll on business here too – I’ve seen several For Sale signs around town, and knowing the condition of the water is less than perfect is a stark reminder of the delicate Eco system we live in, despite the idyllic vistas we see everyday, and the impact we have on it. 

2.  Taking some valuable time for myself in San Marcos to re-acclimatise to the real world outside the Moon bubble, drinking in the transformation – figuring out how to blend the old and new into one sublime reality;  a sublime group of people brought together, who just want to make a positive contribution to the world (aww), now armed with knowledge, freedom and potential, how best to direct it, to integrate it all?  

The foundations are set, and experience is my best messenger, so it’s time for some action and to build my way. 

3.  Taking a week of intensive Spanish lessons – immersing myself (or trying to at least) in Latin American culture. Hoy, estoy hablando Espanol! Mas o menos :). 

4.  Several staggered and emotional goodbyes to my fellow Moon Course graduates.  Reflecting on the space we’ve held for each other the last 30+ days.  From the moment we met there was a beautiful understanding of each other, that we were all in exactly the right place with the right people.  

This is not the end dear friends, ’tis only the beginning #globalfamily.

5.  Getting into the swing of my own meditation, yoga and Prana Yama practice, holding my centre, keeping me connected to my light, and surrounding myself with that which supports my fullest expression. 

6.  Looking after Zeus, the resident Perro a Las Piramides: a mahooosive beautifully calm Alsatian, with a slight tendency to wander off, a big heart and a fear of fireworks – arghhh responsibility!  Where have you been old friend?

7.  Writing this from my current home, Jenikas place at Las Piramides, which has both a DOUBLE BED (yes, I’m star fishing) and A BATH!  Such a joy to still be near the temple and in this amazing place – lucky lucky lucky me! 

 

Full Moon

My Moon Course has finished.  It’s hard to express the transformation I’ve experienced and feel inside,  but in essence the last month at Las Piramides Del Ka has been like spiritual rehab and self-awakening!

By simply asking “Where am I?” in all aspects of self – my physical body, my emotions, my mind, my spirit – I’ve connected, balanced. 

By being open to everything, to the other side of creation, and by moving my mind to raise my vibration to have experiences, I have grown.  

By meditating, and developing my faculties of observation, intention, dedication and clarity, I have once again been humbled by the sheer power of my mind, of self-mastery, and how to have conversations with myself to find answers.

By practicing Yoga every goddam day I’ve challenged, balanced, energised, centred and connected with my physical body. 

By taking a conscious breath, I’ve opened up doorways in my subconscious, my soul, and opened my mind to experiences we all have access to, experiences that can give us all the knowledge we seek, from WITHIN:

The only prison we make for ourselves is in thinking there is only our physical body – you have to believe it to experience it, just keep calm and take flight. 

The simplicity is the truth: everything I need is already within me, within us all – all we have to do is Trust, Believe, Experience, Listen to the clicks (the clues) that are all around us all the time, and when the Student is ready to listen, the Teacher will come.  
If you’re in search of answers, ask yourself 4 questions: 

1. What is my Ideal, in terms of body, emotion, mind and spirit?

2. If those are my ideals, what do I need to do to achieve them?

3. If I know what my Ideal is, and I know what I need to do to achieve it, what’s stopping me from doing so? 

4. Where is the light? How does it manifest? When do I feel disconnected from it? What do I do to reconnect?

Pause, take a conscious breath, balance yourself and answers will come. The Universe will take care of the details in eternity. 

All you have to do Today is Shine.

Thank You Las Piramides Del Ka for the greatest and most life-changing gift of all: for teaching me how to find and harness the Light & Life Force Intelligence within me, and that there is more to this World than meets the eye

Infinite Thank You’s to each and every one of my incredible Moonie friends who came on this journey with me, engorging my heart to near explosion and enhancing my experience beyond words.   I feel so blessed to have met you all, and I’m lucky enough to take them all with me forever #globalfamily.  What a beautiful existence we manifested!  I feel so very lucky to be alive, and to have this knowledge and awareness. 

Last but certainly not least thank you to Kali for our synchronicity that led me here, to my amazing parents, my brother and TK for this incredible birthday gift, and for making this happen.  I am beyond grateful. 

New foundations are set. This is not the end, it is only the beginning.  Now it’s time to build our way. 

I highly recommend this course, it could change your life:  Las Piramides Del Ka

Courtesy of Brianna Moon:

Chanelled from Chatty

And We open 🙏🕉

I am inside the Silence.  The Afterlife is as meaningful as the Present one.  The Invisible side of Creation.  Pray, really pray with your heart, and prepare yourself for life on the other side.  The Body relaxed, the Mind awake.  The Breath is the doorway to the subconscious.  

Most people believe in only what they can see, but there is a lot more than meets the eye.  Pay attention to the voice of the Heart, strip back the veil of mystery – you need to align all your spiritual bodies, words, thoughts, actions, feelings, to open the doors, to change your perception:  to live only in the physical body is to be in prison.  

Am I dreaming?  

The most important thing is to Believe, believe it so you can live the experience.  Open, open to everything, open your mind, open your heart.  It started with an Astral projection, acting with love and light is your best protection.  Ask for the experience you need to have from your Spirit.  

Where is your heart? Where is your mind? Be an instrument of higher energy.

In the Simplicity is the Truth, Creation is creating all the time, no end and no beginning: where your Spirit resides.  The Tree is a mirror of You, and when we study the system we study ourselves.  

If you have true Wisdom you don’t need to shout.  It’s something you can’t describe but when you receive it you know, though this is just one language to describe Creation, to provoke experience, clicks of deep understanding.  

The World of Emanation, The World of Creation, The World of Formation, The World of Manifestation – all the dimensions give you different knowledge: As Above, So Below.  Things related to Spirit and all things Eternal.  

What sets you on Fire?  When you know, you touch something true to your Spirit, like being in the right place, Here and Now.  And as All Things have come from One, Her Father is the Sun, you will seperate Earth from Fire, Energy that helps you evolve.  

You’re the bridge between two Worlds, and when the Student is ready to listen, the Teacher will appear.  The idea is for you to move your mind, to return home.  

I am inside the silence, but in the Astral Plane I speak. 

And with one conscious breath, here We close 🙏🕉

You can go your own way

“Welcome to Hogwarts” he said, as I walked through the gate.  “This is going to be an interesting month” I thought to myself…

Sometime ago I decided to throw out plans, to Let Go and just go with the flow.  India is massive, and in the beginning just choosing what direction to go in was hard enough (FML).  I soon realised that if I just shut up, sat back and waited, the solution often presented itself.  It was then that I really started letting go of any idea of linear, logical, north/south/east/west routes, and instead to listen to my intuition and literally make this shit up as a I go along. 

That decision led me in directions I never expected, led me to simply fabulous people and places I might never have met/seen otherwise.  By being open to absolutely everything and going with what felt right in the moment meant I never shut any doors.  

I just stopped thinking about travelling in geographical terms and instead as a field:  I can go in any direction I want, I just have to follow the feeling and find my own way.   Plan B was everything else, Plan A was just being present in the moment and going with it. 

7 months later, I followed a feeling and flew Guatemala from Nepal, to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry. ok ok, Las Piramides School of Yoga, Metaphysics & Meditation in San Marcos La Laguna.  They’re basically the same thing.   

  

I’m halfway through week 2 of the 4-week Moon Course here at Las Piramides, and I’m certain it was the best decision I ever made.  

I’m doing Yoga every goddam day, meditating, getting in touch with my physical, emotional, mental and spiritual bodies, learning about metaphysics, dimensions, astral travelling, lucid dreams, channelling, Reike, Kirtans, healing techniques, mantras, I’m chanting Om Mani Padme Hum and I understand why, I’m opening my 3rd eye with Ommmmm meditation, I’m learning breathing techniques and Pranayama, I bought a crystal the other day and I’m living in a fucking pyramid!  

yoga every goddam day

  

my little hobbit house

 

I feel like Hermione Granger as I note down the instructions for Lucid Dreaming and Astral Travelling, dictated to us from one of the coolest, most authentic 60-ish year olds I know off’ve the 70’s (with the best anecdotes, FYI).  We’re not even halfway through the course yet, and we’ve still got another 5 dimensions to learn about!  It’s fascinating. 

I know what you’re thinking… “She’s gone full Hippy now”, and up until very recently I would have agreed with you.  

To back-track a little… 

I came to San Marcos two years ago, sat in Shambala coffee shop, observing many cliches around me:  Ali baba trousers, dreadlocks, and all Peace and Love maaaan.  My friends and I laughed a little at the time, remarking how we thought those kind of people had died out in the 90’s, and as it turns out they’d all retired to San Marcos to set up organic coffee shops.  I scoffed a little, and called them “Hippies”.

Now I’m on the other side of the fence I’m beginning to understand where “they” were coming from, and what they were aiming for, and I’m wondering – when did Hippy become a bad word?  

I’ll fully admit that for me it had slightly negative connotations at the time.  They were different, perhaps weaker for some reason I couldn’t express, alternative, running away, new age, definitely out there and something I judged because of ignorance.  

Labelling puts us into categories, segregates Us from Them.  It happens all over with things like job titles, fashion statements, religion, race, whatever – they’re all just ways we fit in, all different vehicles to use, and all subtly perpetuating apartness, a separateness from the Whole, in both positive and negative ways.

I didn’t want to feel separate from my friends or my family just because of a new perspective I was getting, so I began thinking “there should be a new word for this”.  I wanted a word that could encapsulate the beautiful essence of what I’m experiencing and seeing so clearly, without having to feel different, or separate, because I’m not different exactly.  I’m still me, I’m just becoming more of me.

I’m here with 20 other like-minded people who are just as cool, grounded, funny, and normal as my mates from home.  We’re not bonkers, I promise.  We haven’t flown away with the fairies.  We’re all very grounded, normal people from normal backgrounds (who still take a pinch of salt in their diets), we just all followed a feeling:  we’re here because we want to find out more about ourselves, and ultimately to make a positive contribution to the world.  If that’s what being a Hippy is all about, then yeah!  I’m all for it! 

Then I thought about it some more.  Why does there need to be a new word, or a word at all?  By finding a new word I’m just perpetuating that concept of categorisation, the idea of separateness, difference. 

So instead, I prefer to think of it like this:  

We can be everything.  You don’t need to label it, you don’t need to close any doors.  Life is a field remember, and we can all go in all directions. 

You could be the Grande Fromage of a big corporation, wearing a suit from Monday to Friday, or a person who just really likes video games, whoever, we can all embody the essence of what we’re learning, which is basically a way to be, a way to present yourself in the world for your own benefit and to make the world a better place.  It doesn’t need a name, you can just Be it, be the example. 

Keep the doors open, and Be the change that you want to see. 

Om shanti shanti Om, peace, peace, peace, love, light, freedom and compassion for all beings, light and blessings for your day, Namaste.

the Flip Flop Filosopher x

Don’t Worry, Be Happy

When was the last time you tested your boundaries, to see how far you could push yourself?  Or totally switched off from the grid, no screens, no contact, no news, no talking, no looking even.  On the 25th June, I completed a 10 day Vipassana Meditation course in Nepal, and it was one of the most game changing experiences of my life. 

So what is it?  

The word “Vipassana” means seeing things as they really are, not as you would like them to be.  It’s a process of self purification by self observation, a technique developed and taught by the Buddha.  It’s free and available to absolutely anyone, regardless of your ethnicity or religious tendencies.   It’s a universal technique that teaches you a way of life, a code of conduct, an art of living.  The goal is to learn how to live peacefully and harmoniously, how to have control over the mind, and how to live with the spirit of the mind full of love, compassion and goodwill (man).  To learn, all you have do is surrender yourself to a meditation camp for 10 days, and agree to 5 precepts: 

1. To abstain from killing any living creature 

2. To abstain from stealing 

3. To abstain from all sexual activity 

4. To abstain from telling lies 

5. To abstain from all intoxicants

Let be honest, we’re all just worried about #5… Ohh, and the 10 days of Noble Silence… Yeah, that… No talking, no gestures, no eye contact, no reading, no writing. Just you, your thoughts, and S. N. Goenka’s dulcet tones.

  

The schedule is demanding and, like Pavlovs Dogs, our days revolved around bells – some made us salivate, others made us “starrrrt agaiiiiiin”…  the 4am wake up bell, the call to meditation bell, the “time for food” bell, from 4am to 9pm every day, 11 hours of meditation and noble silence.

The first few days are all about breathing…. Like, a LOT of breathing, but just your natural breath.   I couldn’t get my monkey mind to shut the fuck up – it’s surprising when you try reallllllly hard to not think of anything how much comes into your head.  

The conditions were challenging: the humidity was about 80% and the fans  worked occasional, which meant I sweated my arse off for most of the day, sweating out all my impurities and toxins.  Purging my system inside and out.  It was like rehab… 

Soon the schedule, the structure and the technique started to take over and I entered into almost a dream-like state. My inner world became so huge when I fell silent and just observed the world around me.  In the beginning, I did anything to keep my mind off the deafening silence in between the meditations, but after a while I found pleasure in stopping to smell the flowers, to watch the ants (FIFA), to just listen to the birds.  I know, I know how funny that sounds, and trust me I was as amused as you, but as I shut out the distractions, I left a quiet and peaceful mind, a mind that started to feel so vast and powerful, so full of potential. 

   

It’s not necessary to have to do the lotus pose for this meditation, just to find a comfortable sitting position that means you can sit for a period of time.  Despite months of sitting on nothing but divans, my western body still cried out in pain in a crossed leg position… My Knees, then my back, a numb bum, pins and needles in my feet on constant rotation.  

I made the ultimate mistake of looking around and comparing myself to my other inmates, who of course all looked so serene and comfortable, certainly not fidgeting every 5 minutes like me. Seriously, How the fuck are they all doing this?   I tried so many cushion configurations I lost count.  By the end of the course, everyone had their preferred set up, and watching them get them ready before the determined 1-hour-absolutely-no-moving-allowed sittings (that were introduced on day 4, 3 times daily) was like watching a golf pro set up for that a drive of the 1st tee. A check-list of about 40 and everything.just.so.

Dhamma Hall

    

Why did I do it?

What was I expecting?  Some kind of transcendental journey that would answer all my questions and give me some kind of out of body experience.   I feel a little foolish to think how much I wanted from it, how much I expected it to be like a magic wand, to fix me and take me places, a way of finding all the answers to all the things I worry about.  There are certainly some meditations/methods that can do that, this just isn’t that kind of thing.  

I hoped it would help me achieve stillness, strength, clarity, balance, help me tune into my emotions and intuition, to see my own potential and to hold space for myself.  The good news is, it helped me achieve all these things, and the technique was so simple, so real, and as a result wayyyy more visceral. 

How did it make me feel?

Initially, I felt apprehensive, frustrated, uncomfortable (sitting down for 11 hours may seem easy, but I challenge any of you to sit on the floor for even 15 mins without fidgeting);  by the end I felt so happy, relaxed, peaceful, grounded, and more in control of my mind.  Ultimately, I guess, a whole lot more aware/sober – it’s a 100% natural high. 

It felt like I was unlocking parts my brain, taking a journey of insight.  The mind is a muscle, it’s like I was exercising and relaxing it at the same time, like teaching it a new trick: Developing my faculty to focus within. Just to be, rather than trying to be.  To meet with pleasure and with pain and treat those two imposters just the same: it’s allllll about equanimity baby.  It all balances out if you just let it go, and you feel so much more free.

 
  

If this made me happy, does that mean I was un-happy before?  Yes and No, but for me this gives me a new way of seeing the world and a way to slowly eradicate negative reactions – there’s something in that.  It needs a few more goes to practice and to figure out how I realistically integrate it into my everyday life, but there’s definitely something in that.  

Am I happier now?  Yes.  Am I free from having wibbly moments of erratic emotion, tearful pathetic moments of ineptitude or flashes of anger?  No, I’m not out of those woods yet, but am I coping with those moments a lot better? Yes.  

“Good for you” I hear you say, but why should you care? How could this help you? 

It’s been useful to understand that everyone has a different experience, that everyone takes from it in a different way, and that you can only learn through your own experience.

Having said that, if you could see that there’s such a simple way to liberate yourself from tensions, you’d wish that for everyone.  I know not everyone can surrender 10 days to experience this for themselves.   I know I’m incredibly lucky to have been able to follow my curiosity.  It’s not my job to tell you to go, or to teach you the technique, all you need to know is that Vipassana is a universal technique that can help you exercise a healthy mind, happiness is a nice side effect.  

It’s NOT some cult or sect or religious rite of passage.  I’m still me – I’m just trying to be the happiest me I can be (cheesiest comment I’ll make all day, probably).  

The main aim is basically “May all beings be happy”, which is basically a nice thing. It doesn’t turn you into some reaction-less vegetable, it just turns you on to a different way of thinking.  It’s a sort of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, which gives you choices about your thoughts. 

One week on, and I’m reflecting on that pure joy feeling I had as I walked out the meditation hall for the last time, and how to adapt/apply this to my every day life.  It’s going to be a challenge, but one I’m happy to undertake. 

In the words of 90’s band En Vogue, “Free your miiiiind, and the rest will follow!”

Vipassana Meditation Worldwide 

    

   

7-Bullet Sunday: Day 143

A tardy summary of happenings and musings from the last 7 days:

1.  Ledakh – one of the most remote places I’ve ever visited.  The roads that give access to this place from Kargil in the West and Manali in the South are seasonal, and were only just opening up when we arrived.  Newly defrosted/scarred/under-construction roads, men at work breaking rocks, several bumpy, cosy, shoulder-to-shoulder boob bouncing jeep rides, patience/physical endurance/tolerance, a new appreciation for smooth tarmac like you wouldn’t believe.

The roads in Ledakh are like a metronome for its development:  the community need/want progress, and there’s a race to get the roads safe/give access in and out to those who’ve been cut off for months as well as getting the tourists in the quickest.  At the same time, they risk/worry about losing that delicate Ledakh heritage/identity that will begin to melt away as the Tourism soars.  I hope they succeed in protecting this special place. 

Nubra Valley

2.  Getting my first taste of Tibetan culture and getting excited for September! A new language, prayer wheels, stupas, prayer flags hung literally everywhere and flapping in the wind, Tibetan refugee markets full of beautifully tempting souvenirs, a new set of symbols and meanings, a kind of innocence, a thinner atmosphere/less oxygen (10k ft above sea level), brisk, colder temperatures, space, SNOW! breathless acclimatisation, peace and quiet (no beeping, no TukTuks), a much bigger, fluffier and teddy-bear-like breed of Steve, weathered and almost purple wind-burnt friendly smiling faces, clean, fresh mountain air – it’s enough to make you forget you’re in India, but with the pace of life set at 3 knots and a very relaxed/non existent approach to health and safety (thank god), you’re soon comforted by that familiar “Indian way” of doing things.  

 

Leh – not at war, LaLa’s Art Cafe with Leh Palace in the distance

 
The town balances looking like a construction site, a war-zone and an historic religious memorial all at the same time with a graceful simplicity, one of the many idiosyncratic talents of India.

3.  Driving 1 1/2 days to reach the Pakistan border, weaving and climbing through the vast Nubra Valley – another long, but stunning journey that took us up and over Khardungla, “the highest motorable road in the world” (18,380ft), and eventually spitting me out at Turtuk – the last village to be occupied by India and the closest I can get to Pakistan.  

Stood by the border check-point (a familiar sight for a Dumballer), it was a sobering moment for this kid from the Midlands – took the opportunity to pause and reflect on my fortunate predicament:  free to travel anywhere in the world, and at the same time acknowledging the slightly bonkers/surreal location that I found myself at on day 140.  I can see Pakistan!? 

Indian/Pakistan Border Crossing

4.  1st world problems: 

a) as my visa expiration date approach’eth, Jessington brain-fog sets in as to “where/what next” in the world?  For now, a no-brainer hop skip and a jump over to Nepal and a brief Denso reunion beckons – why the fuck not?!  I’m excited by the possibilities/opportunities that are to come, whenever the conclusion materialises.  

b) lengthy and quite regular Leh-wide wifi black-outs brings a welcomed off-grid quiet, save for the attempts to alleviate some acute pangs of missing family & friends through Skype and the like, which were rendered completely impossible or frustratingly sketchy #loading, #connecting, #nointernet, #1stworldproblems

5.  Finding inspiration in all sorts of places.  Most notably, from 3 talented podcasters whom I highly recommend you all take the time to listen and subscribe to:

1. The Comedian’s Comedian – Stuart Goldsmith
2. Distraction Pieces – Scroobius Pip
3. Adam Buxton

Your own podcast recommendations are most welcomed – get in touch or stick a link in the comments bit below.

6. Saying cheerio to the #GoodEggs Naomi and Clay, as they set off from Leh destined for Manali. #travelwankers, #clangers and my #globalfamily for the last 90+ days, I love the way they look at the world, the larfs we’ve shared, and the things we’ve seen together.  

Some have come, some have tried, and some have left defeated, but it’s that top-shelf calibre that glued all of us “Clangers” together.  You know who you are. “Hello forever”  😉 ©CarolineDensley.

7. Sampling Yak cheese for the first time, I can report it has the hardness/crunch of Parmesan/Manchego, yet the sweetness of Gouda/Emmental, and seemingly goes with absolutely everything on a Leh menu. Yakety Yak!  Don’t talk back.  Recommended. 

I dream of Idris Elba, and a new series of Luther

Idris Elba asked me a question – What do you want to be when you grow up? (It’s a video, you can watch it…)

Today of all days, that’s a great question to ask yourself.  Have a think about what you’re doing now.  What’s your dream now?  Doesn’t have to be your job, it could just be as simple as a hobby, or that you dream of waking up next to Idris watching the new series of Luther (*holds hands up*).

Ok I admit, that’s a big hippy question for a Monday morning, but it doesn’t have to be such a big deal.  Maybe you’re already living your dream (you lucky bastard), maybe you know what it is and you’re making in-roads towards it, or maybe like most of us you have no idea, or no time to have an idea anyway. 

I’m learning that order to grow you sometimes have to prune parts of you away; to be able to see the woods for the trees (#clairetong) you need to remove the obstacles that are getting in your way, like a state of mind, a facade, an addiction, a location, your job (this may or may not be my exact list).

Even if today you just remind yourself what you wanted to be when you grew up and smile about it, or sit for 5/10 minutes to contemplate it in a new context then that’s a great start.  I’m a different person at 35 and 11/12ths to the one I was at 7 and a 1/2 who wanted to be either an Astronaut, a Vet, a Helicopter Pilot, or as a last resort work for Aardman Animations making Wallace & Gromit come alive – none of those things happened, and I can smile at my younger old self as I prune away, clear the path and continue to figure out what the 35 year old me wants to do when she grows up.

Do something today that you’ll thank yourself for tomorrow.  If in doubt, move towards the people, places and projects that warm your heart, your spirit.  Believe in yourself, your dreams, your visions.  Plant a new seed. 

Is there Life on Mars?

“Hello! You are from England?”

“Yes! You speak English?!”

“Yes! I learned it!”

“Fantastic! Where did you learn it?”

“Yes!”

“….” 

My basic get-you-through Hindi has been coming along nicely, but since Kashmiri, Dogri, Punjabi, Urdu and Hindi are all spoken here, the language barrier is a little tougher – cue lots of sign language, patience and smiles, which thankfully the people of Jammu & Kashmir have in spades. 

The overnight night train from Delhi pulled into Jammu just over a week ago, and it’s like we landed in a completely different country.  A lot of Kashmir looks like a war zone, exacerbated by the omnipresent Indian Army/Military Police that punctuate the highways (there’s still a bit of a spat with Pakistan), but a great deal more looks utterly spectacular.

After nearly 10 years clocking up 100’s of driving hours on some challenging roads, Dumball made me match-fit for the drives that were to come: 

1. The drive from Jammu to Srinagar:  like driving in the mountains/on the roads of Albania, Hungary, Monte Negro and the Western Ghats all combined.  

This is the ONLY way to reach Srinagar by road, so that makes it their M1 and main supply artery.  Chuck in A LOT of Trucks, traffic, herds of goats, horses, shepherds, all competing for the road (in both directions), a few landslides to dodge, hair pin bends, pot holes, dramatic drops, gridlock, men at work, assertive aggressive overtaking (on blind corners, obvs), military police presence, a toll booth! (fifa) with opportunistic tradesmen taking full advantage by trying to sell us Cricket bats (for reals), boxes of cherries, strawberries, pashminas… You know, all the things you need 6 hours into a 12 hour journey – this is the life force of India that just never goes away, and I love her more for it. 

   
  

2. The drive from Gagangir to Leh.  Just six little words.  Looks like an awfully small affair doesn’t it?  Completely belies the spectacular 12 hour/350km journey that climbs and crosses the Himalayan Zoji La Mountain up and over into Ledakh – a road that grunts and grinds, climbs and zig-zags relentlessly, sometimes slicing through the glaciers and snow drifts.

The narrow passes, perilous drops and occasional (often) bad condition of the road means there ain’t too much room for two way traffic, so you have to wait at the bottom in a somewhat orderly queue with no real idea of what’s going on until the last of the descending group of traffic has passed by the Traffic Officials, indicating your turn to make the ascent. 

The condition of the road elicited some squeaky-bum-time considering I was in a Jeep that was fit for purpose, and then an idiosyncratic massive Indian truck hurtles past in the opposite direction, it’s customised metallic decoration glinting in the sun like its throwing a metaphoric “fuck you”, all guns blazing, not giving a shit and showing us all how it’s done – how the bejesus did that thing even fit up here?!  

   

We watched the vast, enormous landscape change and grow from the dirty back seat windows of our very bouncy Mahindra jeep, being thrown left and right, both hands on the Jesus handles.  

The peak of the pass is at 11,650ft, and surrounded by Himalayan snow capped mountains.  No sooner had we hurtled past that than the landscape changed up again to mountain ranges of epic Tolkien-esque proportions with Mars and Lunar-like terrain, and it just didn’t stop either.

   
  
  

The drive to Leh was one of the most challenging, varied, awe inspiring roads I’ve ever had the pleasure to survive/drive on, with the most phenomenal, uninterrupted mountain landscapes I’ve ever seen.  I’m out of superlatives.  There’s almost nothing in between except for an abundance of Tibetan prayer flags adorning various stupas, flapping in the wind to remind you in which direction you’re headed, and to give a bit of moral support.  Not much hope of a wee stop around these parts. 

 

*before you say it, I know it’s upside down – I can’t fix it

 
  

Cows Cows Cows, Alleys Alleys Alleys, Temples Temples Temples

The title of this blog doesn’t even begin to describe the sheer amount of activity and life crammed in to the magical streets of Varanasi, THE holiest of the seven holy cities in India and the oldest city in the world, still standing strong on the banks of the Ganges after 3000+ years: a melting pot, where both life and death come together.  Devout Hindus come here to cremate their dead, and believe they can wash away their sins by bathing here – I’ll pass on that, respectfully, for now.

“Older than history, older than tradition, older even than legend, And looks twice as old as all of them put together”  Mark Twain

On day one, as I navigated/u-turned my way towards the Ganges River through the narrow alleys of the rabbit warren, I was met with fervent locals, Steves, Goats, motorbikes, mopeds, bicycles, countless sacred Cows/Bulls lolling on past (giving each a touch of respect), cheeky monkeys looking down and making mischief, Men with shrouded loved ones aloft their shoulders on bamboo stretchers, headed towards the Ganga Ghats (river front stairs) to be cremated, or covered in ash (erm, it’s human ash) returning – all sharing the alleys, and sometimes all at once.

Until today I couldn’t say I’d seen a dead body, let alone 9 being cremated at once.  I didn’t know how I’d react but I was strangely enamoured.  Varanasi has its own flavour of magic, play, illusion, intensity, over crowding and esoteric party atmosphere (considering), yet somehow it’s peaceful, I like it.  Who knows what tonight/tomorrow brings… 

 

Hello Dave

Cremations at Manikarnika Ghat

   

I’d recommend staying at Shiva Guest House – a little hard to find but inexpensive, a/c, helpful staff, and puts you right amongst it.  For some good cheap grub, I’d also recommend hitting the Dosa Cafe. 

My favourite tactic whenever I arrive anywhere new is to get high up from street level, get my bearings as well as a healthy dose of horizon. Tonight’s venue is the Dolphin Roof Top restaurant – a perfect spot to soak up the cocohophany of Varanasi by night and watch the sun go down over the Ganges.